It is said that in the 1970’s, stern British morality dictated that though we would happily kill a criminal if he so deserved it, we would never stoop to the level of giving him skimmed milk. I agree with this sentiment entirely.
In our age, longing to escape death for as long as possible until we are decrepit and small, we corrupt our natural food and drink to reduce fat, cholesterol, and salt. They demand your butter is ‘light’, your milk ‘skimmed’, your diet a ‘diet’. All of these terms imply a twisted regimentation that removes the inner character like the layer of cream scraped away to the sink, rather than building upon it.
Of course, it is plainly apparent that modernity seeks to take these natural and healthy parts of life and – rather than reduce health risks by removing pizza or ketamine – make one feel less guilty. Why should I give up the fat-soluble nutrients my body so appreciates? Because the labcoat and the journalist demand so. Why must I give up traditional one-hundred-per-cent butter? Because rapeseed oil was not available then, but it is now; thus, we must have it.
I was once trying to pack some heavy items away, weakly, when an older man began lecturing me on not eating worms and mud as a child. At first I scoffed, though quickly I understood. He challenged me: “I bet you forget to wear your coat outside on a mildly cold day and have to suffer a weak of a cold because of it,” – I do – “and I wager you you’ve never eaten a worm. That’s all we did when we were wains, run outside and eat worms.”
Sometimes, when I look at old photographs from the War, I try to look at past generation’s faces and imagine seeing them on the street. I rarely can. People were of a tougher constitution and their jawlines cut without requiring cutting; today I see either double chins or strangely sharp constructions that make me uncomfortable. It appears our problem is not too much whole milk, butter, and worms – it is not enough.
I mean this both literally and symbolically, I do not care if skimmed milk is healthier or adds another year onto my life. Consuming only whole milk is one of the simplest ways to revolt against the modern world because it defies so-called scientists and silly social convention.
Lo, do I enjoy when my friends come over for tea and coffee, but must have it black as I do not stock anything else but the cream of the cow. Lo, do I enjoy that my friends may wish to have toast, which I welcome, but must heat an individual slice of butter as I refuse to stock anything spreadable and ‘healthy’.
Listen to your grandparents. Do not stock skimmed.